Hmm... what to say, what to think...

I just got back from the Five-O, and what an interesting turn of events has occured. My hands are cold and stiff, perhaps from the cold, perhaps from my lack of feeding, probably both actually. But I know I need to feed, I can feel it every time I breathe, "like a splinter in (my) mind."

Roommate update, still not here, oh well... But anyways... I was there for like 4 and a half hours. I spent the first hour or so reading my book, and a little while on the computer there checking my e-mail, looking for other's like myself. I'm not being all that secretive about myself, but I haven't really done anything to prove that I'm anything more than just interested in vampires. Sure, that's about all I look up on the internet these days, but still... I've written a couple of e-mails, chatted with a few people, posted a few messages, but I didn't think anyone was watching. Or maybe they weren't, maybe I just give off this "vibe" about me. When I first went home with my Love, her grandparents say they "knew" something was different about me. They couldn't put their finger on it, but there intuitions told them I wasn't "normal" whatever that is... Oh well, that was before I realized and embraced my nature anyways, I didn't even know I was what I am back then.

Back to the Five-O. I sat around at the bar drinking my Milky Way (espresso, milk, chocolate, and caramel shots) for a while, smoking my cigarettes. I picked up some Newport Mediums, not my choice, but they were two for one. I usually smoke full-blown Newport 100's...talk about hard stuff. LOL... Well, I moved over to the pool table and just sat there watching the game that was going on, there were about 7 other people there. Two of them left, and so that left us 6. I got in on a couple games, it was fun, I thought I played well, though I lost every game ::sigh::... Then the strangest thing happened. At about 1:30 or so, this guy I was playing with says, "I've never met a vampyre that wears a cross around his neck." I was floored, but I didn't let it show. I should've spoken up and said, "How did you know?" or "How do you know that I'm a vampyre?" I didn't though, I just played along and said, "contrary to popular myth, they don't hurt us like you would think." I said this while grabbing it with my hand to prove my point. Then we digressed into coversation about ankhs and such. I was totally suprised that he would confront me about it like that. We spent the rest of the time playing pool 'til 3:00, every now and then they cracked a couple more jokes or whatever about vampyres. Like stakes through the heart, and I'd better hurry up and get home b/c the sun will be rising soon. I then told them I had to get up tomorrow afternoon and get some blood-work done, they got a laugh out of that too.

Turns out that Nick, or, "The Coffee Hombre" isn't even 18 yet, I would've never seen that one coming. ::sigh:: I'm not worried that people know, or think, that I'm a vampyre. In a way, I'm relieved, maybe word will get around and others will find me. Maybe they think it's all a joke too, that'll be fine by me as well. For now...

All in all, I'm not sure what to think. I'm happy, I'm scared, I'm relieved, and I'm curious. Curious as to what will happen next. One of my favorite phrases, only time will tell, that certainly applies here. I need to contact Amy, she may be a potential donor. I'll probably see her tomorrow night though, that'll be good, we'll be in a comfortable atmosphere for myself. I can be a little bit more open about myself that way.

At any rate, this is just another hurdle down the road of discovering myself I suppose. 'til next time...

-Tristan