I too have a mortal side, as some of you know, if you didn't, then know this now. I have an immortal vampyre soul, but my body for all intents and purposes is still subject to every day pains and illnesses as the next person. Sure, I may not get as sick as some of you will in your lifetime, and I may live longer than all of you, but only by a few short years I'm afraid, unless, the mysteries of true immortality reveal themselves to me once more.

But alas, I digress... Tonite, I speak from my heart, not my mind, or my soul which is not what the world wants to know. "For it is in my heart that the true distortion lies." But this is also where you will find what remains of my former mortal self's thoughts and ideals. I pulled out his (my/our) Bible just the other day, and no, lightning did not strike me dead, or the pages burn my fingers or eyes. But it didn't feel reminiscent as it used to. Just another reference book now to be placed on the shelf next to my various fictional novels and DVDs.

I suppose one may look at me and still see my subconscious persona, the one they always knew. Though my hair has gotten significantly longer since then, I still look outwardly the same. That's good for me, and bad for me. The good thing is, my parents will still be able to accept me and deal with me, support me. But unfortunately, as good as that is, it is also bad, for I want to be away from them, gone from their site, free, self-supportive, but alas, I can't right now for I have no way of being this self-supportive person I long to be. I need a job...

My roommate is still no where to be found. This is getting strange. If he's not back tomorrow I'm going to look into whether or not there was a plane crash or something. Or maybe he just took off early for Spring Break... Aye me. Who knows. His phone hasn't rung for a couple days now either.

But now on to the topic of this entry. I miss being held in your arms. I miss holding you in my arms. God, your face is so beautiful to me, your every curve satisfies me in ways that go beyond description. In a word, you're perfect. And we're perfect together, as it is meant to be in this life-time. I want to share every moment with you, but for now, ::sigh:: I still want, I still need...my independence. This is stuff you already know though. What can I do now but wait until I'm ready? What can you do now? I hate asking you to hold onto me during this time. I mean, I want you to hold on, but I don't know how long it will last, and I feel wrong in asking you to do this thing. But please don't think I'm asking you to leave me alone, I don't want that anymore than you do. You're more than a meal to me. However, you are a very good meal might I add, and currently, the only one within my reach for a while. Just give me time, that's all I can ask, and that's all I continue to ask. But I suppose that's all we have to speak of for now. As we wait to be in each others arms again. To enjoy each other's company as we used to.

-Tristan